The meritocracy reigns supreme in our society, claims New York Times columnist David Brooks. Starting at a young age, Brooks says we teach our children to follow an ethos that defines who we are by what we achieve. But underlying the meritocracy is a foundation of lies:

The crux of these lies rests on the belief that life is an isolated journey — you are what you accomplish, that you alone can make yourself happy, and that your worth derives from your skills. This is how we unthinkingly climb what Brooks calls the first mountain of our lives. We strive for success in the meritocracy, but in doing so we rob ourselves of spiritual and communal growth. 

Because meritocracy’s fundamental unit is the individual, David Brooks says that when people fall off their first mountain they tend to do it alone. People are so focused on their personal successes that they neglect the relationships with friends, family, and neighbors. They lose the connectivity that creates resilience in the face of adversity.

This is the crisis facing society today, says Brooks. Depression, suicide, and addiction are all on the rise despite a growing economy and increasing standards of living. We all need to do a better job of taking care of each other’s mental and spiritual well-being, and Brooks says that this challenge starts with individual journeys.

“You can’t climb your way out of the valley,” says David Brooks, “someone has to reach down and help you out.” Our individual salvation comes from community, not doubling down on the individualism that got us in the valley in the first place. The journey up our second mountain, then, isn’t a solitary one. And at the top of that mountain, we let go of ourselves and seek a more fulfilled life.